


you're just a (day)dream away

by sunsetveins



Series: at night i dream of you [2]
Category: All Time Low, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 03:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8129225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetveins/pseuds/sunsetveins
Summary: Blue. Alex's dreams are blue.





	1. Chapter 1

The first Alex hears of the dreams is when Hayley wakes up teary eyed in the middle of story time at school. The teacher asks her what's wrong and she says something in a small voice about dreams and purple hair. 

When he's in the car on his way home and his mother asks him about his day, he tells her about Hayley and she tells him that it's normal. That sometimes we have dreams and we remember them and they mean something, but he's too young to be able to piece them together yet. Right now his dreams are calm and feature cartoon figures and candy clouds. He'll understand soon.

 

-

 

The dreams, Alex is soon told, help you realize something about yourself. Something you might spend your whole life fighting against unknowingly. They're meant to help you find your way. 

They don't always stop with one realization. Some people have their dreams helping them for their entire lives. It depends on the situation, Alex is told. They help you when you need it.

Some people don't really have the dreams. But most people do. It's uncommon that someone doesn't have them. No one is really sure what it means when you don't have them, but they prefer to see it as something good. 

Alex doesn't really understand when he's told. Doesn't see what big, life changing decisions he'd need help making. It's okay, though. He still thinks it's pretty cool.

 

-

 

Blue. Alex's dreams are blue. It's the first dream he's ever had, the first one that's different, and it's filled with blue and a dull roar of voices. He doesn't really remember much, but that's how it goes. You aren't supposed to until you find out what it means. 

He wakes up at 4 in the morning and runs to his parent's room. He jumps on the bed and shakes them until they grumble themselves awake. When he decides that he has their attention, he practically shouts as he tells them about his dream. 

His mother looks like she's about to cry and his father is smiling as soft as can be. When he tells them about the voices and all the blue and how everything felt bright and dizzying, they hug him tight and suggest that he go and tell his brother. 

He hears a rustle of papers as he rushes down the hall. He finds out later that his mother was writing down what he said. He'd need it later.

 

-

 

He's 8 and his second dream makes him feel warm and fuzzy. 

The dream is dark but he can almost swear that he saw a flash of brown and illuminated cheek bones littered with dark scruff. The laughter fills his memory and his stomach whirls and he feels almost like he's flying.

He doesn't run to his parent's room this time. He goes to Tom because it's 2 AM and the light under his brother's bedroom door fills some of the space in the hallway.

His brother looks up at him when he opens the door and he smiles. He opens his arms from his bed and Alex crawls up into them and curls into his brother's body.

Tom asks about it a few minutes later, voice kind and soft. Alex whispers the words into the fabric of Tom's shirt and his brother tells him that he's happy. He's happy and he tells Alex that someday he's going to be really happy too. Just don't let himself get in over his head.

Alex doesn't ask what the dream means. He knows Tom knows something, but he doesn't ask what it is. He just listens to Tom's heartbeat and giggles as his chest rumbles with the laughter he's masking in Alex's hair.

His brother is his best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Tom has been gone for 2 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days when Alex has another dream.

There are bright lights from all directions and a steady beat in the background. Voices are everywhere and they're screaming. He can feel the words instead of hearing them. ("Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said. Alone and far from home I'll find you.)

He wakes up sobbing and his entire body aches. He's eleven and nothing makes any sense. 

His parents don't come running at the sound. They aren't in town. He's been home alone all weekend.

When he finally calms himself down, he sits up and grabs his notebook. He has to keep a dream record, even if they make no sense. 

He doesn't write down his dream. He writes a song instead. The next morning when he wakes up after sobbing the lyrics to himself until he finally fell asleep again, he scribbles 'Lullabies' above it.

 

-

 

There's this boy in Alex's music class that likes to sing Bowie.

His name is Patrick and he's really sweet. He tuned Alex's guitar for him when Alex just couldn't get it right. 

His voice is so beautiful and sometimes Alex gets a little insecure from it, but then he watches the way Patrick shrinks under praise and realizes that he doesn't realize he was born for this. For music. For his voice.

It's so upsetting that Alex's insecurities fade away and all he wants is for someone to come along and make Patrick wake up from this dream where he isn't good enough. 

He gets his wish granted on a Monday when Pete Wentz fucking dashes into the room and trips into the drum set when he hears Patrick singing.

It's like everything halts. Patrick had stopped singing when the crash had rang out, but when Pete finds the nearest bass and plays something that Alex couldn't identify if it hit him in the face, Patrick's entire being practically lights up as words flow from his lips. 

By Pete's expression, Patrick shouldn't know the words. No one should.

But he does, and Pete throws the bass at some kid and kisses Patrick right in the middle of his words, and the world is spinning for Pete and Patrick only.

It's magic and later, when someone asks, Pete says he's heard Patrick's voice in his dreams. Patrick says he's heard the bass line and seen the words scribbled messily onto crumbled paper.

The dreams suddenly seem so beautiful and Alex's anger at them fades. It doesn't sting when he remembers crawling into his brother's bed and telling him about them. It doesn't burn to think about lullabies and bright lights.

Maybe the dreams will bring him something like this someday.


	3. Chapter 3

Brendon Urie is gay.

Alex smiles into his sleeve when Brendon stands on the lunch table, claps his hands, and then says in the cheeriest voice anyone could ever have, "I'm fucking gay. Like, hella fucking gay. So gay that the only crush I've ever had is on the adorable little shit behind me giggling into MY sweater. So yeah. Thanks for your attention, folks. Have a very gay day."

He wraps an arm around Alex's shoulder and presses a kiss to the top of his head once he sits back down. 

"Hella fucking gay, huh?" Alex asks in a teasing voice, grinning beyond all comprehension.

"The gayest," Brendon says, and he kisses Alex's lips this time. 

Alex smiles into it and whispers, "Is that a challenge?"

"You think you could take me in a gaying contest?" He wiggles his eyebrows at Alex, grinning as Alex drops his head onto his shoulder and giggles uncontrollably.

"No," Alex decides as he calms down, "you'd probably throw glitter at me. Rainbow glitter. I'd have to spend years getting that shit off of me."

"You know me so well!"

"Mhm," Alex hums against Brendon's throat. "Love you."

"I love you, too."

 

-

 

The dreams have all been pretty inconclusive. Alex has only figured out two things, and somehow he doubts they go together well.

He's gay. 

He wants to play music.

He discovered both of these things in one dream. It was a swirl of blue and drowning. The screams from the other dreams, the early ones, turned into cheering and chanting. The cheek bones and the deep shade of brown had a body and lips. The warmth and fuzziness had a feeling. Love. 

He connected the dots as he dreamed, and when he woke up he could still feel the burning of his lips and the calluses on his fingertips.

Music and sexuality don't go together. If Alex was straight, then it would be okay. But he highly doubts he's ever going to get anywhere on being gay.

He tells Brendon this at night when they talk each other to sleep. Brendon tells him that he knows three things about himself. Two he learned from the dreams. One he knew all along.

He's a natural born musician. A front man. 

He's super hella fucking gay. The gayest of the gays. Bleeding rainbow gay.

He doesn't give a fuck. He's a musician. He's gay. And he's going to represent no matter what. It's who he is.

Alex wishes silently that he had Brendon's confidence. He wishes he knew himself well enough to be able to say something like that.

Brendon is someone that Alex had always wished he could be. He's one of those people who don't need the dreams. He knows himself. He would've been fine on his own. Would've found out all of these things on his own and he would've owned it the way like he's owning it now. He's confident and outspoken and in your face. He's sure. He doesn't need the dreams. He doesn't need anything. He doesn't need anyone. 

He doesn't need Alex.

The thought haunts him. They were friends before they were boyfriends. They could go back to that easily. Alex knows this. He also knows that Brendon has every opportunity to decide to do just that. He doesn't need Alex. Not like Alex needs him. And once he realizes this it's pretty much over. 

Alex doesn't think he's ready for that. He doesn't think he ever will be.

The pretty brown abyss of his dreams disagrees.

 

-

 

Zack Merrick is, without a doubt, out of his mind.

He's looking at Alex and his eyes are made of those fucking dreams. Positively beaming with them. He's spouting off words that don't make sense, looking at Alex like something is supposed to click and he's desperate to see it happen. 

Alex doesn't know him, but he can see from the panic and surprise in his friend's eyes that Zack has never been one to speak too often.

"-and it's going to be big and amazing and come on, you know you want this. You know what I'm talking about. You have to know what I'm talking about."

Zack is begging and it kind of hurts, because no, Alex doesn't know what he's talking about. He doesn't know who he is or who Rian is and maybe he's heard the name Matt somewhere but not in a manager context. Nothing about this makes any sense.

"I'm sor-"

Brendon comes sprinting down the hallway and he's so red and out of breath that Alex's smile is a little worried around the edges, but his entire body is vibrating with energy and it makes Alex laugh when Brendon bounces on his toes and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

"BABE, GUESS WHAT!" Brendon shouts, twirling Alex around until they're facing each other.

"Yes?"

"I JUST MET RYAN FUCKING ROSS!"


End file.
